I received an email today that included this. It was such an awesome encouragement to me of the high calling God has placed on our lives as MOTHERS!!! I hope it blesses you!
I'm Invisible
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible. The invisible Mom.Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.' I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, and she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a hair clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Great Job, MOM!
The Seven Evans
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Makin' up for lost time...
In sleep not in blogs. We went to bed last night at 8:30. I got up and fed baby at 3:45 and then we didn't get up again until 6:45. Wow!!! Amazing. The kids and I even napped today.
John got home Friday afternoon from camp. We went out to eat and shopping to buy some shoes for John to go with his brand new suit. We didn't find the shoes he wanted so he wore some he already had...and Boy, did he look good on Sunday morning preaching in the pulpit at Lakeside Baptist in Lakeland. My sexy man of God!!! We headed over to Lakeland on Saturday and swam at a city pool. Only 3 bucks a person and you could take in your very own snacks. It was great fun for me and the kids to get to know the youth from camp from last week. We went to dinner Saturday night with the pastor and youth pastor and their wives. We left our kids at a houseful of teenage girls and a mom. I think there were more care givers than children needing child care. They had a blast. When we got home yesterday afternoon every one was so tired. We just layed around and watched movies.
OK...today was a bit frustrating. Ever have one of those days where you unknowingly sabotage yourself. Well, I did. Our oldest had her 7 year check up today. YES 7 years...it's crazy! Well we got there on time at 8:40. Amazing for me to actually be on time to an appointment with all four kids in tow. At about 9:15 I was noticing that several people who had come in after us were going in before us to the same doctor. I graciously asked the receptionist why this might be...maybe our file had been misplaced. She then explained to me that my appt. was at 9:40. She had wondered why we were so early. I wish she had mentioned that to me.
NINE forty, people. My poor kiddos had been waiting SSSSOOOOOO well. I don't allow them to play with toys in the doctor's offices. I mean who needs to come back at the end of the week because we picked up something while we were in the doctors office for a well-check. Get my drift? Anyway I told the receptionist we would run and errand and be back but she suggested I wait because we were next in line. Yeah right!!! We went in to see the doctor at 10:00. UGH!!! Cheney by that time had had enough of sitting and was proclaiming her thirst and hunger loudly because it was snack time. Nathaniel had given up his sweet demeanor as well. The receptionist was so apologetic. She was very sweet. It wasn't her fault. It was mine. But it was just soooo frustrating. Then my oldest proceeded to protest VERY LOUDLY at having to get a second chicken pox shot and get her finger pricked. Not such a good idea to take the younger 3 children to an older child's appointment when she is getting shots...I will make note of that.
Oh...well it was not a fun start to our day. And one day I will laugh at it.
Hubbie let me have the night out tonight. Woohoo! I got a couple hours to myself and got a few things done. It was nice to have a quiet dinner at Nature's Table while I read through some of our new home school curriculum. Woohoo, KONOS!!! We are going to have a blast. More on homeschool curriculum in a few days.
John got home Friday afternoon from camp. We went out to eat and shopping to buy some shoes for John to go with his brand new suit. We didn't find the shoes he wanted so he wore some he already had...and Boy, did he look good on Sunday morning preaching in the pulpit at Lakeside Baptist in Lakeland. My sexy man of God!!! We headed over to Lakeland on Saturday and swam at a city pool. Only 3 bucks a person and you could take in your very own snacks. It was great fun for me and the kids to get to know the youth from camp from last week. We went to dinner Saturday night with the pastor and youth pastor and their wives. We left our kids at a houseful of teenage girls and a mom. I think there were more care givers than children needing child care. They had a blast. When we got home yesterday afternoon every one was so tired. We just layed around and watched movies.
OK...today was a bit frustrating. Ever have one of those days where you unknowingly sabotage yourself. Well, I did. Our oldest had her 7 year check up today. YES 7 years...it's crazy! Well we got there on time at 8:40. Amazing for me to actually be on time to an appointment with all four kids in tow. At about 9:15 I was noticing that several people who had come in after us were going in before us to the same doctor. I graciously asked the receptionist why this might be...maybe our file had been misplaced. She then explained to me that my appt. was at 9:40. She had wondered why we were so early. I wish she had mentioned that to me.
NINE forty, people. My poor kiddos had been waiting SSSSOOOOOO well. I don't allow them to play with toys in the doctor's offices. I mean who needs to come back at the end of the week because we picked up something while we were in the doctors office for a well-check. Get my drift? Anyway I told the receptionist we would run and errand and be back but she suggested I wait because we were next in line. Yeah right!!! We went in to see the doctor at 10:00. UGH!!! Cheney by that time had had enough of sitting and was proclaiming her thirst and hunger loudly because it was snack time. Nathaniel had given up his sweet demeanor as well. The receptionist was so apologetic. She was very sweet. It wasn't her fault. It was mine. But it was just soooo frustrating. Then my oldest proceeded to protest VERY LOUDLY at having to get a second chicken pox shot and get her finger pricked. Not such a good idea to take the younger 3 children to an older child's appointment when she is getting shots...I will make note of that.
Oh...well it was not a fun start to our day. And one day I will laugh at it.
Hubbie let me have the night out tonight. Woohoo! I got a couple hours to myself and got a few things done. It was nice to have a quiet dinner at Nature's Table while I read through some of our new home school curriculum. Woohoo, KONOS!!! We are going to have a blast. More on homeschool curriculum in a few days.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Sleep.....
I thought I was doing so much better this week with hubbie out but oh well. I just can't seem to keep up my sleep when he is gone. I was awake until 2 a.m. and then the baby woke up at 5 took a bottle and then slept in the bed with me. Then the big kids woke up at 7.
My head hurts and I am sooo tired. We are looking forward to our playdate with Heather and her girls but my head just won't stop throbbing.
My head hurts and I am sooo tired. We are looking forward to our playdate with Heather and her girls but my head just won't stop throbbing.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
My crazy husband
He is at camp and had this done...it is Japanese or Chinese or something...It means Love!!! 
Praises
Praise God...Jeremy and Carmen gave birth to Sarah Joy on Monday at 12:35. I should say...Carmen gave birth, right? She said she was a bit sore and tired but that Sarah was beautiful and it was all worth it. Carmen was able to get her epidural for the induction and besides some concerns for the baby right after delivery because of lowered heart rate due to the cord wrapped around her neck all things went well. I was able to speak to Carmen for just a brief moment today to find out how things went because they were in the car on their way home!!! I did get to see a picture of the 6 pound 6 ounce cutie on my cell phone on Monday evening. How fun is technology!!!
Jessica is home recovering. I am so impressed with how her family has handled all that they have had to deal with this year. I was talking to my friend, Heather, and saying I can't remember Jess's family ever having to go to the hospital sooo much. I know that Satan would just want to make things as difficult as possible for them as they are seeking God's will and following Him in the call on their lives to be missionaries. I am so proud of them. It is so neat to watch people grow in Christ. Her family and mine were all buddies as we served together in youth ministry at the first church John was on staff at full time. I guess you could say we have watched each other grow into God's calling on our lives. I just know we will be connected for life because of it!!! It is such a privelege to be bonded together with such amazing brothers and sisters in Christ!!!
I have not heard any news about dear sweet Jameson. I have asked to be on the email list from their Sunday School since we aren't attending their church anymore but are friends with many in their class. I don't want to call and bug the family so I just ask God to hold them in His hands. I just continue to pray for God to bless them with rest and comfort. Melisa's boys and my first two kids are exactly the same amount of time apart. Her boys are both four months older than my two oldest kiddos. I remember when she shared with us the revelation that God wanted them to have another child. It was so exciting. Shortly after that she got pregnant with Jameson. I know that GOD has an amazing plan for this child's life. Even though this is a difficult time for them...how difficult I can't even imagine...They are God's people and I know He is walking them through this. I beg God to heal Jameson's condition and allow God to receive all the amazing Glory for it!!!
Jessica is home recovering. I am so impressed with how her family has handled all that they have had to deal with this year. I was talking to my friend, Heather, and saying I can't remember Jess's family ever having to go to the hospital sooo much. I know that Satan would just want to make things as difficult as possible for them as they are seeking God's will and following Him in the call on their lives to be missionaries. I am so proud of them. It is so neat to watch people grow in Christ. Her family and mine were all buddies as we served together in youth ministry at the first church John was on staff at full time. I guess you could say we have watched each other grow into God's calling on our lives. I just know we will be connected for life because of it!!! It is such a privelege to be bonded together with such amazing brothers and sisters in Christ!!!
I have not heard any news about dear sweet Jameson. I have asked to be on the email list from their Sunday School since we aren't attending their church anymore but are friends with many in their class. I don't want to call and bug the family so I just ask God to hold them in His hands. I just continue to pray for God to bless them with rest and comfort. Melisa's boys and my first two kids are exactly the same amount of time apart. Her boys are both four months older than my two oldest kiddos. I remember when she shared with us the revelation that God wanted them to have another child. It was so exciting. Shortly after that she got pregnant with Jameson. I know that GOD has an amazing plan for this child's life. Even though this is a difficult time for them...how difficult I can't even imagine...They are God's people and I know He is walking them through this. I beg God to heal Jameson's condition and allow God to receive all the amazing Glory for it!!!
Monday, July 21, 2008
Prayer requests
I wanted to mention some serious situations occuring in the lives of some of my friends....Some of my fellow home-towners may know them from the Oaks (they all attended there at one time or another).
Todd and Melisa and their boys...Jameson was born just over a week ago now and has a very serious skin condition...epidermolysis bullosa. It occurs only 1 in 50,000. It is also called butterfly syndrome because the skin is as fragile as butterfly wings. It has been described to me that he has blisters and open wounds on the skin. There is a very serious concern for infection. Typically this condition either heals around six months or lasts a life time with always the threat of infection. PLEASE PRAY for peace for the parents and family, for wisdom for the doctors, for comfort for this painful condition for Jameson and HEALING FOR GOD'S GLORY!!!
Carmen and Jeremy...Carmen is in the hospital to induce today. They are expecting a sweet little girl that would be due in a couple of weeks but Carmen has some sort of blood platelet condition and must induce now. It also may mean that she will not be able to have an epidural. Please pray for her in this change of plans. That God would grant her the peace she needs to walk through this induction without an epidural.
Also...Jessica who is in the hospital in a spanish speaking country passing kidney stones and other physical issues. Please pray for wisdom for the doctors, comfort for her and a quick resolution to all the issues.
Thanks for your prayers and the words of encouragement that you sent me via comments the other day.
Kathryn
Todd and Melisa and their boys...Jameson was born just over a week ago now and has a very serious skin condition...epidermolysis bullosa. It occurs only 1 in 50,000. It is also called butterfly syndrome because the skin is as fragile as butterfly wings. It has been described to me that he has blisters and open wounds on the skin. There is a very serious concern for infection. Typically this condition either heals around six months or lasts a life time with always the threat of infection. PLEASE PRAY for peace for the parents and family, for wisdom for the doctors, for comfort for this painful condition for Jameson and HEALING FOR GOD'S GLORY!!!
Carmen and Jeremy...Carmen is in the hospital to induce today. They are expecting a sweet little girl that would be due in a couple of weeks but Carmen has some sort of blood platelet condition and must induce now. It also may mean that she will not be able to have an epidural. Please pray for her in this change of plans. That God would grant her the peace she needs to walk through this induction without an epidural.
Also...Jessica who is in the hospital in a spanish speaking country passing kidney stones and other physical issues. Please pray for wisdom for the doctors, comfort for her and a quick resolution to all the issues.
Thanks for your prayers and the words of encouragement that you sent me via comments the other day.
Kathryn
Friday, July 18, 2008
Refining fire...
Personally, I have been dealing with overwhelming feelings that I will never be enough as a mom and I can never get all of this done...housework, disciplining children, homeschooling, take care of myself... oh,and be a wife.
Today I am posting a rather long postscript of a radio show that is hitting me right where I am. You can go listen to this braodcast at www.reviveourhearts.com and choose the show that aired July 14, 2008.
I do not suscribe to the fact that exercise is the only way to overcome depression. Sometimes that isn't enough...sometimes that is. EACH individual is different. I did find that this broadcast was exactly what I needed to hear and a reminder that GOD allows us to walk through situations in our lives because HE loves us and is molding us into who HE wants us to be!!!
The Process of Refinement
Series: Healing from Bitterness: An Interview with Yvonne Welch
Monday, July 14 2008
Leslie Basham: Here’s Yvonne Welch.
Yvonne Welch: God knows just how to get our attention. He knows just what to do to break this will that is inside of us. God was allowing me to go through a time where He was purifying me, where He was breaking me, and where He was truly refining me. We’re told as Christians we are going to be refined as gold.
Leslie: This is Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss. It’s Monday, July 14. Here’s Nancy.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I’m so glad you joined us for Revive Our Hearts today. It’s really a privilege this week to have two friends, one new and . . . well, Holly, I don’t want to say you’re an old friend because you’re not old. But you’ve been in my life for a long time. Holly Elliff—many of you know…
Holly Elliff: Long-time friend.
Nancy: Long-time friend. That’s the way to say it. Holly has joined us for a conversation with Yvonne Welch. Yvonne is a Bible teacher and speaker. Yvonne, I’m so grateful that you’ve been willing to take some time out to meet with us and share with our listeners.
Yvonne: Nancy, it is a blessing for me to be here. It’s really an honor and a privilege, so I thank you.
Nancy: You’re welcome. You’ve authored a study for women called Spiritual Rest in the Life of a Woman. That study grew out of your ministry that God has given you as a pastor’s wife to mothers, women, young women.
You had four little children at one time. Can you relate to this season of things just being stressed and crazy and busy? What was it like for you in those days?
Yvonne: I can remember that I would be so tired at the end of the day. I got so tired that Bob had to rush me to the hospital one night because I said, “Bob, I don’t know what’s happening, but I think I’m dying.”
So Bob rushed me to the hospital and the doctor looked at me and he said, “Your wife is acutely, chronically exhausted.” I said, “Yes I am.” I’d never heard that word before but at the time I thought it was only physical.
Then God began to show me that it was very much spiritual. One of the reasons that God has really given me a heart to encourage women and to teach women is because I was there. I can remember what it was like. I can remember what it was like to think, “I don’t know if I can make it until lunch.”
It got to be so intense that I actually did lose my health. I’m so grateful the Lord allowed me to go to a very godly doctor. That doctor looked at me and he said, “I can either give you all these antidepressants, or I can put you on the most vigorous exercise program you have ever seen.”
My husband said, “We will take the exercise.” In my heart I thought, “I don’t know what I want.”
Nancy: You probably didn’t feel like you could do vigorous exercise at that point if you were so exhausted.
Yvonne: I didn’t.
Nancy: I mean, that must have seemed like climbing . . .
Yvonne: . . . Mt. Everest. It did. I could barely run one block. Then the next day, I ran two blocks. Pretty soon the Lord helped me, and I was running one mile twice a day.
My little children, Mark and Lucy, were very little at the time. I would take them and put them in the sand area at the track at a high school in Birmingham, and I would run and I could watch them as they played in the sand. If it rained, I very slowly was able to build up to 15 minutes of jumping rope three times a day.
Nancy, I’m so grateful for that. That was 30 years ago and I’m still doing it, because I feel that I don’t want to go there again.
Nancy: I assume it did start to help you feel better.
Yvonne: Oh, it was wonderful. In fact, my doctor said that if I would exercise every day, it would produce endorphins and that would help me to feel better. And he was right.
Nancy: So sometimes we deal with this whole anxiety and depression and stress level. Sometimes the answer, or at least part of it, is something very physical.
I’m thinking about Elijah, God’s prophet, after a great battle and a great victory. When he was just depleted, exhausted, God sent that angel to prepare a meal and to tell him to sleep. That can sometimes be the most practical and spiritual thing that a woman can do.
Yvonne: Oh, yes.
Holly: How soon, Yvonne, did you see some glimmer of hope, from the time you went into that doctor’s office and you were feeling depressed and fatigued and exhausted, until the point where you began to realize, “this is helping”? Was that a really long process? Was it almost immediate?
Yvonne: Holly, it was a very long process.
Nancy: No quick fixes.
Yvonne: No quick fixes, no. Probably after three years I began to get a little glimmer of hope. But I was running; I was walking. I was faithfully trying to exercise. But I’d just come home from the hospital with Lucy, our fourth child.
A very godly older woman brought me a meal. I was so happy to see that meal. But she could tell. She could look at me and say, “You are hurting. This is more than just postpartum depression.”
And she was right. I really was hurting. I was depressed. She looked at me, and she said, “Yvonne, you really don’t know God.”
I remember thinking, “I’ve been a Christian since I was nine years old. I walked down the aisle at the Second Baptist Church in Houston. I don’t understand.”
She said, “No, you really don’t know God. I want to challenge you. I want to share with you a personal devotional that I have every day, and I want you to start doing it.”
Nancy: She said this to you?
Yvonne: Yes. And I started doing that.
She said, “I want you to take thirty minutes in the morning.”
I thought, “How can I take thirty minutes with babies and children and being in the ministry?” But I was desperate. I was so desperate.
So I began to do what she shared with me, and it changed my life.
Nancy: It’s like Spiritual ICU.
Yvonne: It was. It was.
She encouraged me to get a notebook and to write at the top of the page the word praise and put five things to praise God for. Then the word confess, five things to confess and then thanksgiving, five things to thank Him for. And then intercession, five things to intercede for someone else. And then supplication.
So she said, “What I want you to do is to take Psalms and I want you to be looking for five attributes of God every single day. I want you to write those attributes down. After you’ve found five, that’s as far as you read. Then the next day I want you to look for five more.”
Nancy, I’ve been doing that now for 30 years because I’ve seen God’s character as I have written it down under the outline of praise, that He is our rock, He is our fortress, He is our shield. He is my glory. He is the lifter up of my head.
Nancy: He is our sanity.
Yvonne: He is everything!
Nancy: You think about how crazy this world is and how out of control our lives can be or feel. It’s God who provides for that. That’s what the rock is. It’s a safe place, a secure place. I think if it weren’t for the Lord, we’d all be nuts.
Yvonne: We really would be. I know I would be.
Holly: So along with the physical issues that were going on in your life, as you began to get help in those, what really got you out of that pit was getting into God’s Word.
Yvonne: Oh yes, Holly.
Holly: And seeing Him for who He is.
Yvonne: Oh, yes. In fact, I found that when I would memorize Scripture, I didn’t hurt as much. So I began to write Scripture on index cards. I put them on my sink. I put them by my bed. I put them on my refrigerator. God’s Word began to very slowly heal my spirit because yes, I was depressed. But the root cause was spiritual.
So I began to memorize verses like 1 Corinthians 10:13:
No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it (KJV).
It was as if God were saying, “Hang on, Yvonne. I’m not going to give you more than you can bear. I’m going to provide a way to escape. I’m going to provide a way for you to get strong again so you can take care of these four children, so you can minister to your husband.”
As I began to go through this personal devotional and I would write down all of these things, I would get down on my knees and I would actually begin to praise God. We’re told that God inhabits the praises of His people, and we’re told in Isaiah we’re to put on praise as a garment.
So as I began to praise God, as I began to confess so that I would be clean, and as I would thank Him for the depression (1 Thessalonians 5:18: “In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” NKJV) . . .
It was almost as if I could say, “Lord, I just want to thank You for that pile of dirty clothes. I don’t have the strength to wash those, to get the food together, the meals on the table, but, Lord, I want to thank You.”
It was almost as if, not that the problem would go away, but I would seem to have more strength. I would seem to be able to make it. It was during the darkest days of my depression that a dear friend sent me a poem. I didn’t know this poem was a song.
But I can remember being up with Lucy to nurse her at 2:00 a.m. in the morning, thinking, “Lord, I’m not going to make it. I am physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally exhausted. In fact, I really don’t think I’m going to be able to make it to be a mother.”
But this poem was written by Annie Flint Johnson and it goes like this:
He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater. He sendeth more strength when the labors increase. When you’ve reached the end of your hoarded resources,Our Father’s full giving has only begun.
I thought, “That’s me. I have reached the end of my hoarded resources. There’s nothing left.” It was as if I could hear Jesus saying, “Praise God. Now I can take over.”
When you’ve reached the end of your hoarded resources, our Father’s full giving has only begun.
Since that time, I’ve seen that it’s a beautiful song. My daughter Lucy made a calligraphy for me out of that that I have on my wall. There are going to be times in life when we think we have reached the end, and we don’t have any more strength. We can just say, “God’s going to take over.”
Nancy: That’s actually the place we have to get to in order to experience the fullness of God’s grace and God’s strength. As long as we think we can manage, we can handle it, we act as if we don’t need God. We always do need God.
But it’s when we come to the end of our own resources: that’s brokenness. That’s where God’s strength and grace take over. And that’s how God is glorified.
Yvonne: I know it. It was during that second year of my depression I heard a Bible teacher say that there are three kinds of sickness. There is a sickness unto death. Well, I knew that I wasn’t dying because the doctors had me running two or three miles a day.
There’s a sickness unto the glory of God. I thought, “This is not very glorifying that I can barely function as a mother.”
And then he said something that pierced my heart. He said, “There is a sickness unto chastisement.” I knew it was me. I knew that that’s exactly what God was doing.
In Isaiah 48:10 we are told, “Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.”
Nancy, I began to go through the furnace of affliction. I came home from hearing that Bible teacher and I got down on my knees and I said, “Lord, show me the sin that is in my life.”
God knows just how to get our attention and He knows just what to do to break this will that is inside of us. God was allowing me to go through a time where He was purifying me, where He was breaking me, and where He was truly refining me.
We’re told that, as Christians, we are going to be refined as gold.
Nancy: Yvonne, as you’re sharing, I’m thinking about a couple of passages of Scripture. One of them is a familiar one in the Old Testament, Psalm 32, where David describes what happened to him when he had sin in his life that he wasn’t willing to confess, to bring into the light. He says,
“When I kept silent [about my sin, when I didn’t agree with God about it], my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer” (verses 3-4).
He really describes some of the characteristics of depression, just physical symptoms. It was God’s chastening hand on his life, not to punish him but to restore him. That’s what we read about in Hebrews chapter 12, that classic passage on the discipline of God. It’s says if you’re a child of God, expect that God as a loving heavenly Father will discipline you. Why? Hebrews 12:10 says that God disciplines us for our good:
that we may share His holiness
that it may purify us
that it may refine us.
He’s not trying to beat us down. He’s not trying to destroy us. He’s trying to restore us.
And then verse 11, "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant.” That’s what you’ve been describing —this painful consequence of your own choices inflicted by a loving, wise heavenly Father.
You say, “Why would God put painful discipline into the lives of His children?” Well, verse 11 says, “Later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
So the question is not, Will we be disciplined, but Will we receive the discipline that God brings into our lives?
You really began through this process to turn your heart to the Lord and to say, “Lord, what is it that You’re wanting to show me? What is it You’re wanting to teach me?”
Not so much Why is this happening to me? but, What are You saying to me through this?
Yvonne: Oh that’s exactly right, Nancy.
Nancy: I think, Yvonne, you have painted a picture out of your own life where so many of our listeners are today. You have thrown out a lifeline as you’ve shared how God walked you through this process.
You’ve said it wasn’t a quick fix. You didn’t just pop some pills or have somebody zap you or a magic formula and it all went away. It was a long process. It’s been a hard process.
Thirty years later you’re still having to make choices that keep your head lifted up. Yet God has delivered you. And the things that you have shared so practically out of the physical realm and the whole area of your personal relationship with God and His Word are exactly what some of our listeners need today.
I think you have just spoken words that will give…
Holly: . . . Exactly what we need today.
Nancy: It’s exactly what I need every day. And we do. We’re in a different season of life now. Both of your children are a little older. Yvonne, yours are grown and out of the house. But you’re in a different season of life. You need in your season; I need in my season, and Holly, in your season, we can’t make it without God’s grace.
Those choices physically in terms of our time with the Lord, that’s really what does make all the difference.
But I want to say to someone who is in that black pit right now and you can barely get up off the couch to put on your sneakers, there is hope. It may be just taking a step, getting a friend who will bring that meal, who will say, “Do you really know God? Where are your tennis shoes?” That’s what the Body of Christ is for.
I have people like that in my life who have come around me and lifted me up when I couldn’t lift my own head up. But ultimately they point us to Christ. They get us to His Word.
I’m thinking of that verse in the Psalms that says, “He sent his word and healed them.” We have seen that happen in our own lives over and over again.
We’re going to put some of these resources you’ve been talking about up on our website so listeners can go there. Just even that practical devotional you gave with those five things to list in those different categories will be available on our website. You can go there at ReviveOurHearts.com.
I want to encourage you, take a step, just a step. Realize you’re not going to get out of that pit overnight. You didn’t get there overnight. But take a step.
Write us or email us and let us know how we can pray for you. We have a team of prayer partners who would consider it a privilege to lift you up to the Lord. We’re not a counseling center but we will do the best we can to point you to the Word of God and to just remind you that there is hope through Christ.
Leslie: That’s Nancy Leigh DeMoss talking with Holly Elliff and Yvonne Welch about despair and hope. They’re not finished and will be right back.
I want to follow up on a couple of things that Nancy just said. To send us an email just to share what God is doing in your life or to engage our prayer team, visit ReviveOurHearts.com. Click on “Contact” and send us an email.
You can also share your thoughts on our listener blog. Click on the name of today’s program. It’s called The Process of Refinement. You’ll see today’s transcript and below it, add your comments or read the comments of other listeners.
You also might want to forward that transcript to a friend who needs to hear some words of hope today. The transcripts, the website, and the radio program come to you every day because listeners pray and give. They provide the support we need to continue speaking to women’s hearts every day.
If you’ve never donated to Revive Our Hearts, would you consider helping us with your gift? Help make it possible for someone else to find the exact words they need on the radio or online.
You can donate at ReviveOurHearts.com.
Tomorrow Yvonne Welch will describe how easy it is for a wife and mom who’s always serving to become bitter. She’ll explain why that bitterness is so dangerous. Now let’s get back to Yvonne, Holly and Nancy.
Nancy: Yvonne, I so appreciate your honesty and the simplicity, and yet how profound it is what God has shown you and done in your life. I wonder if you would just lead us. In fact, I’d like us to join hands around this table, Holly and Yvonne and myself. Yvonne, would you lead us in praying for one or more listeners who may be right now where you were with those four little ones and just pray that God would be the lifter of their head? We’ll join our hearts with you in asking God to bring hope and help and grace to that one who has come to the end of her hoarded resources. Let’s pray.
Yvonne: Heavenly Father, we just want to come right now and we want to lift up anyone who is hurting. I know that there are women who are going through what I went through 30 years ago.
Lord, I just pray that You would give them hope. I pray, Father, that You would give them the ability to get up and to take that first step. And, Lord, I pray that You would encourage them and that You would show them, first of all
Is there any sin in my life that would be causing this?
Second of all,
Do I really know God?
Do I really trust Him?
Do I really believe that He is my Rock and my Shield and my Fortress?
Oh Father, I pray that You would give them a heart and a desire to go pick up their Bible, to open it up and to begin looking in Psalms for Your attributes.
Father, how I thank You for the many times when You have strengthened my heart, You have encouraged me in the times when I didn’t think I could lift up my head. Yet as I went to Your Word, You did it.
And so Father, we pray that if there is someone listening today who is hurting, who has totally lost their joy, I would pray that You would give them hope. Lord, I just know that there is hope in You. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.
Today I am posting a rather long postscript of a radio show that is hitting me right where I am. You can go listen to this braodcast at www.reviveourhearts.com and choose the show that aired July 14, 2008.
I do not suscribe to the fact that exercise is the only way to overcome depression. Sometimes that isn't enough...sometimes that is. EACH individual is different. I did find that this broadcast was exactly what I needed to hear and a reminder that GOD allows us to walk through situations in our lives because HE loves us and is molding us into who HE wants us to be!!!
The Process of Refinement
Series: Healing from Bitterness: An Interview with Yvonne Welch
Monday, July 14 2008
Leslie Basham: Here’s Yvonne Welch.
Yvonne Welch: God knows just how to get our attention. He knows just what to do to break this will that is inside of us. God was allowing me to go through a time where He was purifying me, where He was breaking me, and where He was truly refining me. We’re told as Christians we are going to be refined as gold.
Leslie: This is Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss. It’s Monday, July 14. Here’s Nancy.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I’m so glad you joined us for Revive Our Hearts today. It’s really a privilege this week to have two friends, one new and . . . well, Holly, I don’t want to say you’re an old friend because you’re not old. But you’ve been in my life for a long time. Holly Elliff—many of you know…
Holly Elliff: Long-time friend.
Nancy: Long-time friend. That’s the way to say it. Holly has joined us for a conversation with Yvonne Welch. Yvonne is a Bible teacher and speaker. Yvonne, I’m so grateful that you’ve been willing to take some time out to meet with us and share with our listeners.
Yvonne: Nancy, it is a blessing for me to be here. It’s really an honor and a privilege, so I thank you.
Nancy: You’re welcome. You’ve authored a study for women called Spiritual Rest in the Life of a Woman. That study grew out of your ministry that God has given you as a pastor’s wife to mothers, women, young women.
You had four little children at one time. Can you relate to this season of things just being stressed and crazy and busy? What was it like for you in those days?
Yvonne: I can remember that I would be so tired at the end of the day. I got so tired that Bob had to rush me to the hospital one night because I said, “Bob, I don’t know what’s happening, but I think I’m dying.”
So Bob rushed me to the hospital and the doctor looked at me and he said, “Your wife is acutely, chronically exhausted.” I said, “Yes I am.” I’d never heard that word before but at the time I thought it was only physical.
Then God began to show me that it was very much spiritual. One of the reasons that God has really given me a heart to encourage women and to teach women is because I was there. I can remember what it was like. I can remember what it was like to think, “I don’t know if I can make it until lunch.”
It got to be so intense that I actually did lose my health. I’m so grateful the Lord allowed me to go to a very godly doctor. That doctor looked at me and he said, “I can either give you all these antidepressants, or I can put you on the most vigorous exercise program you have ever seen.”
My husband said, “We will take the exercise.” In my heart I thought, “I don’t know what I want.”
Nancy: You probably didn’t feel like you could do vigorous exercise at that point if you were so exhausted.
Yvonne: I didn’t.
Nancy: I mean, that must have seemed like climbing . . .
Yvonne: . . . Mt. Everest. It did. I could barely run one block. Then the next day, I ran two blocks. Pretty soon the Lord helped me, and I was running one mile twice a day.
My little children, Mark and Lucy, were very little at the time. I would take them and put them in the sand area at the track at a high school in Birmingham, and I would run and I could watch them as they played in the sand. If it rained, I very slowly was able to build up to 15 minutes of jumping rope three times a day.
Nancy, I’m so grateful for that. That was 30 years ago and I’m still doing it, because I feel that I don’t want to go there again.
Nancy: I assume it did start to help you feel better.
Yvonne: Oh, it was wonderful. In fact, my doctor said that if I would exercise every day, it would produce endorphins and that would help me to feel better. And he was right.
Nancy: So sometimes we deal with this whole anxiety and depression and stress level. Sometimes the answer, or at least part of it, is something very physical.
I’m thinking about Elijah, God’s prophet, after a great battle and a great victory. When he was just depleted, exhausted, God sent that angel to prepare a meal and to tell him to sleep. That can sometimes be the most practical and spiritual thing that a woman can do.
Yvonne: Oh, yes.
Holly: How soon, Yvonne, did you see some glimmer of hope, from the time you went into that doctor’s office and you were feeling depressed and fatigued and exhausted, until the point where you began to realize, “this is helping”? Was that a really long process? Was it almost immediate?
Yvonne: Holly, it was a very long process.
Nancy: No quick fixes.
Yvonne: No quick fixes, no. Probably after three years I began to get a little glimmer of hope. But I was running; I was walking. I was faithfully trying to exercise. But I’d just come home from the hospital with Lucy, our fourth child.
A very godly older woman brought me a meal. I was so happy to see that meal. But she could tell. She could look at me and say, “You are hurting. This is more than just postpartum depression.”
And she was right. I really was hurting. I was depressed. She looked at me, and she said, “Yvonne, you really don’t know God.”
I remember thinking, “I’ve been a Christian since I was nine years old. I walked down the aisle at the Second Baptist Church in Houston. I don’t understand.”
She said, “No, you really don’t know God. I want to challenge you. I want to share with you a personal devotional that I have every day, and I want you to start doing it.”
Nancy: She said this to you?
Yvonne: Yes. And I started doing that.
She said, “I want you to take thirty minutes in the morning.”
I thought, “How can I take thirty minutes with babies and children and being in the ministry?” But I was desperate. I was so desperate.
So I began to do what she shared with me, and it changed my life.
Nancy: It’s like Spiritual ICU.
Yvonne: It was. It was.
She encouraged me to get a notebook and to write at the top of the page the word praise and put five things to praise God for. Then the word confess, five things to confess and then thanksgiving, five things to thank Him for. And then intercession, five things to intercede for someone else. And then supplication.
So she said, “What I want you to do is to take Psalms and I want you to be looking for five attributes of God every single day. I want you to write those attributes down. After you’ve found five, that’s as far as you read. Then the next day I want you to look for five more.”
Nancy, I’ve been doing that now for 30 years because I’ve seen God’s character as I have written it down under the outline of praise, that He is our rock, He is our fortress, He is our shield. He is my glory. He is the lifter up of my head.
Nancy: He is our sanity.
Yvonne: He is everything!
Nancy: You think about how crazy this world is and how out of control our lives can be or feel. It’s God who provides for that. That’s what the rock is. It’s a safe place, a secure place. I think if it weren’t for the Lord, we’d all be nuts.
Yvonne: We really would be. I know I would be.
Holly: So along with the physical issues that were going on in your life, as you began to get help in those, what really got you out of that pit was getting into God’s Word.
Yvonne: Oh yes, Holly.
Holly: And seeing Him for who He is.
Yvonne: Oh, yes. In fact, I found that when I would memorize Scripture, I didn’t hurt as much. So I began to write Scripture on index cards. I put them on my sink. I put them by my bed. I put them on my refrigerator. God’s Word began to very slowly heal my spirit because yes, I was depressed. But the root cause was spiritual.
So I began to memorize verses like 1 Corinthians 10:13:
No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it (KJV).
It was as if God were saying, “Hang on, Yvonne. I’m not going to give you more than you can bear. I’m going to provide a way to escape. I’m going to provide a way for you to get strong again so you can take care of these four children, so you can minister to your husband.”
As I began to go through this personal devotional and I would write down all of these things, I would get down on my knees and I would actually begin to praise God. We’re told that God inhabits the praises of His people, and we’re told in Isaiah we’re to put on praise as a garment.
So as I began to praise God, as I began to confess so that I would be clean, and as I would thank Him for the depression (1 Thessalonians 5:18: “In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” NKJV) . . .
It was almost as if I could say, “Lord, I just want to thank You for that pile of dirty clothes. I don’t have the strength to wash those, to get the food together, the meals on the table, but, Lord, I want to thank You.”
It was almost as if, not that the problem would go away, but I would seem to have more strength. I would seem to be able to make it. It was during the darkest days of my depression that a dear friend sent me a poem. I didn’t know this poem was a song.
But I can remember being up with Lucy to nurse her at 2:00 a.m. in the morning, thinking, “Lord, I’m not going to make it. I am physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally exhausted. In fact, I really don’t think I’m going to be able to make it to be a mother.”
But this poem was written by Annie Flint Johnson and it goes like this:
He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater. He sendeth more strength when the labors increase. When you’ve reached the end of your hoarded resources,Our Father’s full giving has only begun.
I thought, “That’s me. I have reached the end of my hoarded resources. There’s nothing left.” It was as if I could hear Jesus saying, “Praise God. Now I can take over.”
When you’ve reached the end of your hoarded resources, our Father’s full giving has only begun.
Since that time, I’ve seen that it’s a beautiful song. My daughter Lucy made a calligraphy for me out of that that I have on my wall. There are going to be times in life when we think we have reached the end, and we don’t have any more strength. We can just say, “God’s going to take over.”
Nancy: That’s actually the place we have to get to in order to experience the fullness of God’s grace and God’s strength. As long as we think we can manage, we can handle it, we act as if we don’t need God. We always do need God.
But it’s when we come to the end of our own resources: that’s brokenness. That’s where God’s strength and grace take over. And that’s how God is glorified.
Yvonne: I know it. It was during that second year of my depression I heard a Bible teacher say that there are three kinds of sickness. There is a sickness unto death. Well, I knew that I wasn’t dying because the doctors had me running two or three miles a day.
There’s a sickness unto the glory of God. I thought, “This is not very glorifying that I can barely function as a mother.”
And then he said something that pierced my heart. He said, “There is a sickness unto chastisement.” I knew it was me. I knew that that’s exactly what God was doing.
In Isaiah 48:10 we are told, “Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.”
Nancy, I began to go through the furnace of affliction. I came home from hearing that Bible teacher and I got down on my knees and I said, “Lord, show me the sin that is in my life.”
God knows just how to get our attention and He knows just what to do to break this will that is inside of us. God was allowing me to go through a time where He was purifying me, where He was breaking me, and where He was truly refining me.
We’re told that, as Christians, we are going to be refined as gold.
Nancy: Yvonne, as you’re sharing, I’m thinking about a couple of passages of Scripture. One of them is a familiar one in the Old Testament, Psalm 32, where David describes what happened to him when he had sin in his life that he wasn’t willing to confess, to bring into the light. He says,
“When I kept silent [about my sin, when I didn’t agree with God about it], my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer” (verses 3-4).
He really describes some of the characteristics of depression, just physical symptoms. It was God’s chastening hand on his life, not to punish him but to restore him. That’s what we read about in Hebrews chapter 12, that classic passage on the discipline of God. It’s says if you’re a child of God, expect that God as a loving heavenly Father will discipline you. Why? Hebrews 12:10 says that God disciplines us for our good:
that we may share His holiness
that it may purify us
that it may refine us.
He’s not trying to beat us down. He’s not trying to destroy us. He’s trying to restore us.
And then verse 11, "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant.” That’s what you’ve been describing —this painful consequence of your own choices inflicted by a loving, wise heavenly Father.
You say, “Why would God put painful discipline into the lives of His children?” Well, verse 11 says, “Later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
So the question is not, Will we be disciplined, but Will we receive the discipline that God brings into our lives?
You really began through this process to turn your heart to the Lord and to say, “Lord, what is it that You’re wanting to show me? What is it You’re wanting to teach me?”
Not so much Why is this happening to me? but, What are You saying to me through this?
Yvonne: Oh that’s exactly right, Nancy.
Nancy: I think, Yvonne, you have painted a picture out of your own life where so many of our listeners are today. You have thrown out a lifeline as you’ve shared how God walked you through this process.
You’ve said it wasn’t a quick fix. You didn’t just pop some pills or have somebody zap you or a magic formula and it all went away. It was a long process. It’s been a hard process.
Thirty years later you’re still having to make choices that keep your head lifted up. Yet God has delivered you. And the things that you have shared so practically out of the physical realm and the whole area of your personal relationship with God and His Word are exactly what some of our listeners need today.
I think you have just spoken words that will give…
Holly: . . . Exactly what we need today.
Nancy: It’s exactly what I need every day. And we do. We’re in a different season of life now. Both of your children are a little older. Yvonne, yours are grown and out of the house. But you’re in a different season of life. You need in your season; I need in my season, and Holly, in your season, we can’t make it without God’s grace.
Those choices physically in terms of our time with the Lord, that’s really what does make all the difference.
But I want to say to someone who is in that black pit right now and you can barely get up off the couch to put on your sneakers, there is hope. It may be just taking a step, getting a friend who will bring that meal, who will say, “Do you really know God? Where are your tennis shoes?” That’s what the Body of Christ is for.
I have people like that in my life who have come around me and lifted me up when I couldn’t lift my own head up. But ultimately they point us to Christ. They get us to His Word.
I’m thinking of that verse in the Psalms that says, “He sent his word and healed them.” We have seen that happen in our own lives over and over again.
We’re going to put some of these resources you’ve been talking about up on our website so listeners can go there. Just even that practical devotional you gave with those five things to list in those different categories will be available on our website. You can go there at ReviveOurHearts.com.
I want to encourage you, take a step, just a step. Realize you’re not going to get out of that pit overnight. You didn’t get there overnight. But take a step.
Write us or email us and let us know how we can pray for you. We have a team of prayer partners who would consider it a privilege to lift you up to the Lord. We’re not a counseling center but we will do the best we can to point you to the Word of God and to just remind you that there is hope through Christ.
Leslie: That’s Nancy Leigh DeMoss talking with Holly Elliff and Yvonne Welch about despair and hope. They’re not finished and will be right back.
I want to follow up on a couple of things that Nancy just said. To send us an email just to share what God is doing in your life or to engage our prayer team, visit ReviveOurHearts.com. Click on “Contact” and send us an email.
You can also share your thoughts on our listener blog. Click on the name of today’s program. It’s called The Process of Refinement. You’ll see today’s transcript and below it, add your comments or read the comments of other listeners.
You also might want to forward that transcript to a friend who needs to hear some words of hope today. The transcripts, the website, and the radio program come to you every day because listeners pray and give. They provide the support we need to continue speaking to women’s hearts every day.
If you’ve never donated to Revive Our Hearts, would you consider helping us with your gift? Help make it possible for someone else to find the exact words they need on the radio or online.
You can donate at ReviveOurHearts.com.
Tomorrow Yvonne Welch will describe how easy it is for a wife and mom who’s always serving to become bitter. She’ll explain why that bitterness is so dangerous. Now let’s get back to Yvonne, Holly and Nancy.
Nancy: Yvonne, I so appreciate your honesty and the simplicity, and yet how profound it is what God has shown you and done in your life. I wonder if you would just lead us. In fact, I’d like us to join hands around this table, Holly and Yvonne and myself. Yvonne, would you lead us in praying for one or more listeners who may be right now where you were with those four little ones and just pray that God would be the lifter of their head? We’ll join our hearts with you in asking God to bring hope and help and grace to that one who has come to the end of her hoarded resources. Let’s pray.
Yvonne: Heavenly Father, we just want to come right now and we want to lift up anyone who is hurting. I know that there are women who are going through what I went through 30 years ago.
Lord, I just pray that You would give them hope. I pray, Father, that You would give them the ability to get up and to take that first step. And, Lord, I pray that You would encourage them and that You would show them, first of all
Is there any sin in my life that would be causing this?
Second of all,
Do I really know God?
Do I really trust Him?
Do I really believe that He is my Rock and my Shield and my Fortress?
Oh Father, I pray that You would give them a heart and a desire to go pick up their Bible, to open it up and to begin looking in Psalms for Your attributes.
Father, how I thank You for the many times when You have strengthened my heart, You have encouraged me in the times when I didn’t think I could lift up my head. Yet as I went to Your Word, You did it.
And so Father, we pray that if there is someone listening today who is hurting, who has totally lost their joy, I would pray that You would give them hope. Lord, I just know that there is hope in You. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Officially birthday-ed
Layton turned 7 on July 3rd but due to Cheney and Nathaniel's bronchial infections we didn't have her birthday party on her actual birth day. We had blueberry muffins for breakfast with a candle in its. We however went to the pool that day
It was a big day because it was the first time they ever went off a diving board. Daddy was so excited. He started diving competitively at 5 years old. So it means alot for his kids to be excited about it too. We had a great time at the pool and then to CiCi's pizza afterwards. Thank you Texas Aggies in Florida for joining us!!!
It was a big day because it was the first time they ever went off a diving board. Daddy was so excited. He started diving competitively at 5 years old. So it means alot for his kids to be excited about it too. We had a great time at the pool and then to CiCi's pizza afterwards. Thank you Texas Aggies in Florida for joining us!!!Finally YESTERDAY we had Layton's "real" party. We had 8 little girls over for about 2 hours along with our 4 kiddos. Luckily, Nathaniel slept upstairs through most of it. Layton wanted a party with an Hawaiian theme. So we made grass skirts from brown craft paper, tissue paper flowers to put behind their ears, and beaded necklaces with a sea theme. We had a birthday cookie from Wal-Mart (my first store bought birthday confection). I felt a bit guilty about buying a cake because I have always made something but it was WELL worth the $8.88. Everyone got a little slice and enjoyed it. We had fruit (pineapple, strawberries, blueberries, and grapes in little muffin cups with toothpicks.) and Hawwaiian Fruit Punch with little straws that had umbrellas on them that really went up. Layton gave each girl a lei upon their arrival and said "Aloha," of course. Elijah passed out the goodie bags that included a pen and lollipop ring.
This was my first kid party with inviting more than 3 kids. It was crazy and fun. I couldn't have done it without my dear friends Heather and Shelly. I don't think they realized they would be working when they said they would stay for the party. They manned the skirt making table...well actually made all the skirts while I helped the girls get started on their tissue paper flowers and make their necklaces. I don't know what I was thinking trying to make so much stuff with girls ranging from ages 3 to 10( and one boy- Elijah). I don't think the three year olds actually made anything. There were 2 three olds, 3 five year olds, 1 seven year old, 3 eight year olds, one 9 year old and one 10 year old. 
Today, my camera has a blurry spot in it...I don't know what happened. Hopefully I can figure it out or it will just go away. Maybe the lens just needs to be cleaned.
Handsome!!!
In our house, this is what we call a Diaper Dandy!!! 
He is all dressed up and trying to go somewhere. Mostly he pushes himself backwards and ends up under the TV stand. Haven't taken a picture of that yet. He isn't crawling but just scooting somehow and rolling over to get where he wants. So big for 7 months old!!! He is eating baby food including those puff things and Cheerios. He is only nursing once a day now and takes a bottle great. He sits up but is still a little wobbly. When he gets excited he falls back and hits his head on the tile so I don't sit him up on the floor without a pillow or something behind him. There is ALWAYS something for him to get excited about with big sisters and brother around. He climbs out of the Bumbo seat everytime I put him in it. He loves to bounce in his bouncy thing. I'll have to take a picture of that. Thanks Kiki for loaning us that. This past week he pulled up in his swing and bent over his feet and touched the floor. Granted it is one of those short ones that is only a few inches from the floor. Guess he is too big for the swing. I am sad. It was so easy to move around to any room in the house.
Don't you think he is growing up into such a handsome young man?
Friday, July 11, 2008
Gotta pin it down!
I am going crazy trying to make the decision about homeschool curriculum for our next year of homeschooling. I am thinking about going the expensive route and just buying the ABeka kit for kindergarten and first grades. Kinder doesn't really have anything for science and social studies and stuff so I am thinking about doing it with both Elijah and Layton using the First grade stuff. Then as they progress I can just teach them both at the same time for most subjects except Math and Reading. This is not the DVD kit just the books and manuals. It may help that when I taught school my favorite math curriculum we used was ABeka.
There are just soooo many choices out there. I hate it. Right now though I just need it to be easy. All of it together. I think. I am still debating on just ordering Reading and Math through ABeka and then maybe using something like the units from Konos (http://www.konos.com/ ) AAAAGGGHHH!!! At least when I taught I had some curriculum handed to me and I figured out in my own room how to go from there adding my own little twist to it. I just don't want to be flip flopping from one curriculum to another EVERY year. I started out with Sing, Spell, Read, Write this past year with Layotn and we just didn't do very well with it. I really want to find something I can stick to and have some consistency for the kids in it.
I think that one day I would like to write curriculum so you think I would find time to do research and put my own together right now. BUT my stay at home brain is fried right now with 4 little kiddos 7 and younger and John traveling so much. I just need it nicely researched and handed to me.
I am really excited about this book that I am reading entitled "Managers of their Homes: a Practical Guide for Daily Scheduling for Christian Homeschooling Families." It really is amazing. It can be found at http://www.titus2.com/. It reminded me why as a classroom teacher with 22 children I could accomplish so much. There was a plan with small little blocks of time to write in EVERYTHING you needed to do. And you followed it or you got totally lost. And if things got off track one day you just gradually got back on track because every other day had a schedule. MOST importantly chapter two says...if you can't schedule a quiet time you can't schedule anything. DUH!! I have needed that reminder. I have been trying to just do it when I thought about it or when there was time. When is there time with a 7 month old, 3 year old, 5 year old and 7 year old in the house. You would think when they went to bed but sleep always seems to be the priority...at least when John is home. When he is out I fall into the rut of sitting in front of the TV so I don't feel so alone. Trying not to do that tonight. Trying to clean up so I can have some fun time with the kids before John gets home tomorrow afternoon. YIPPEE!!! And I am doing better on my quiet time. I am doing it before bed every night. NOT ideal but better than none at all. I am working on developing a schedule for our home that includes homeschooling, home chores, play time, individual spent with each child and some ME time. It can be done but it is gonna take some wisdom far beyond my own. Good thing I am reading in Proverbs about wisdom.
There are just soooo many choices out there. I hate it. Right now though I just need it to be easy. All of it together. I think. I am still debating on just ordering Reading and Math through ABeka and then maybe using something like the units from Konos (http://www.konos.com/ ) AAAAGGGHHH!!! At least when I taught I had some curriculum handed to me and I figured out in my own room how to go from there adding my own little twist to it. I just don't want to be flip flopping from one curriculum to another EVERY year. I started out with Sing, Spell, Read, Write this past year with Layotn and we just didn't do very well with it. I really want to find something I can stick to and have some consistency for the kids in it.
I think that one day I would like to write curriculum so you think I would find time to do research and put my own together right now. BUT my stay at home brain is fried right now with 4 little kiddos 7 and younger and John traveling so much. I just need it nicely researched and handed to me.
I am really excited about this book that I am reading entitled "Managers of their Homes: a Practical Guide for Daily Scheduling for Christian Homeschooling Families." It really is amazing. It can be found at http://www.titus2.com/. It reminded me why as a classroom teacher with 22 children I could accomplish so much. There was a plan with small little blocks of time to write in EVERYTHING you needed to do. And you followed it or you got totally lost. And if things got off track one day you just gradually got back on track because every other day had a schedule. MOST importantly chapter two says...if you can't schedule a quiet time you can't schedule anything. DUH!! I have needed that reminder. I have been trying to just do it when I thought about it or when there was time. When is there time with a 7 month old, 3 year old, 5 year old and 7 year old in the house. You would think when they went to bed but sleep always seems to be the priority...at least when John is home. When he is out I fall into the rut of sitting in front of the TV so I don't feel so alone. Trying not to do that tonight. Trying to clean up so I can have some fun time with the kids before John gets home tomorrow afternoon. YIPPEE!!! And I am doing better on my quiet time. I am doing it before bed every night. NOT ideal but better than none at all. I am working on developing a schedule for our home that includes homeschooling, home chores, play time, individual spent with each child and some ME time. It can be done but it is gonna take some wisdom far beyond my own. Good thing I am reading in Proverbs about wisdom.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Tears flowing...
Well, if you watched the video below your sides may be hurting. When my hubbie watched it I bet he was rolling on the floor. YES, he literally rolls on the floor when he is completely overcome with hysterical laughter. Even watching himself. I love it. CUZ I never roll on the floor when I laugh. I mean I hardly laugh. We have discovered that when I am pregnant that my belly jiggles like a bowl of jelly when I laugh. And no...despite the fact that I have been accused of being pregnant 2 times in the past 2 months, I am not pregnant. I am totally gonna burn that shirt (I was wearing it both times)...well, except, I really like it. That is why I joined Weight Watchers.
I was just watching that video...that my dear sweet friend Heather {TexasAggiesinFl blogging friend, and let our kids sit together in the same booth at a restaraunt while we sit at the next booth over until they are making a train around the restaraunt friend} posted that on my blog for me. She took the video of our two hubbies at VBS a few weeks ago. Her hubbie is the guy my hubbie dances around. He is children's pastor at a church a few blocks from my house. They were so funny together. They really played off of each other well. God can use laughter in amazing ways. I have to say childrens' ministry has come a long way since I was a kid.
But as I watched it for the 3rd time...tears rolled down my cheeks. Not tears of joy but sadness. I miss him. My kids miss him. I want him home doing the potty dance for our dear sweet Cheney when she goes #2 on the big potty. I want him to pick up Elijah and body slam him on the big bed. I want to hear him telling Layton how beautiful and smart she is. I want to tell him to look at the baby and share in amazement at how fast he is growing. I want to be wrapped tight in his arms.
I want to be selfish. I want to keep him near. But I know he is doing exactly what God built him for. And God is using it to help me lean on Him, to reach out to my Christian sisters, to be a better mom. I went to church with my mom tonight for Wednesday night prayer service. Pastor (who used to be my old youth pastor) shared James 5:19-20
19My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, 20remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.
It made me think of you, Babe. You are out there saving people from death. DEATH...thank you for surrending to your calling. Thank you for nurturing me so I am not soooo dependent on you. I love you with all my heart and I could not ask for a better husband or father for our children.
I was just watching that video...that my dear sweet friend Heather {TexasAggiesinFl blogging friend, and let our kids sit together in the same booth at a restaraunt while we sit at the next booth over until they are making a train around the restaraunt friend} posted that on my blog for me. She took the video of our two hubbies at VBS a few weeks ago. Her hubbie is the guy my hubbie dances around. He is children's pastor at a church a few blocks from my house. They were so funny together. They really played off of each other well. God can use laughter in amazing ways. I have to say childrens' ministry has come a long way since I was a kid.
But as I watched it for the 3rd time...tears rolled down my cheeks. Not tears of joy but sadness. I miss him. My kids miss him. I want him home doing the potty dance for our dear sweet Cheney when she goes #2 on the big potty. I want him to pick up Elijah and body slam him on the big bed. I want to hear him telling Layton how beautiful and smart she is. I want to tell him to look at the baby and share in amazement at how fast he is growing. I want to be wrapped tight in his arms.
I want to be selfish. I want to keep him near. But I know he is doing exactly what God built him for. And God is using it to help me lean on Him, to reach out to my Christian sisters, to be a better mom. I went to church with my mom tonight for Wednesday night prayer service. Pastor (who used to be my old youth pastor) shared James 5:19-20
19My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, 20remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.
It made me think of you, Babe. You are out there saving people from death. DEATH...thank you for surrending to your calling. Thank you for nurturing me so I am not soooo dependent on you. I love you with all my heart and I could not ask for a better husband or father for our children.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Marching to her own beat
If you have spent any time with Cheney you know she is very unique. Definitely has her own personality. She is very demonstrative about what she likes and and dislikes. Let's you know she is upset by saying..."I am fussterated."
Yet again Cheney has proven to march to the rhythm of her own drum. Probably said that wrong...you know I get my sayings all mixed up. Anyway...she is potty training. And I say SHE because she is leading the way. I tried a couple of weeks ago when the big kids were doing soccer camp and VBS but she really didn't want to have anything to do with it. But now...she wants to get on the potty. Not the little potty, mind you, but the big grown up potty. She takes off her diaper and climbs up and we have to put a stool under her feet so she doesn't fall in. Then she proceeds to poop in the potty. She has somehow figured out how to poop in the potty before figuring out how to pee in it. I don't think I have ever heard of a child learning this way. But that's my Cheney. And besides, I would much rather change a #1 than a #2.
Yet again Cheney has proven to march to the rhythm of her own drum. Probably said that wrong...you know I get my sayings all mixed up. Anyway...she is potty training. And I say SHE because she is leading the way. I tried a couple of weeks ago when the big kids were doing soccer camp and VBS but she really didn't want to have anything to do with it. But now...she wants to get on the potty. Not the little potty, mind you, but the big grown up potty. She takes off her diaper and climbs up and we have to put a stool under her feet so she doesn't fall in. Then she proceeds to poop in the potty. She has somehow figured out how to poop in the potty before figuring out how to pee in it. I don't think I have ever heard of a child learning this way. But that's my Cheney. And besides, I would much rather change a #1 than a #2.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Pray for Kids at Florida Super Summer
Please pray for the kids at camp this week.
John is at the Florida Baptist Convention's youth camp called Super Summer. In its hey day it ran about 1,000 kids. This year it only runs about 250. John is there as a leader for the 11th and 12th graders. This is his first year to work with this camp. It is a different role than he is used to at camp. Normally he is the lead speaker when he goes. I know God has a plan to use John. I am so thankful John is willing to serve no matter the position.
Today he called me to let me know of a tragedy for one of the youth groups there. A group of about 75 youth received a call that a Sunday School teacher and her son were killed in a car accident today. This group is greiving tonight. The leaders have rearranged the schedule to help accomodate this process tonight. As I type, they are in their large group worship experience. Please pray that the students and leaders from the church will feel God's presence and trust in Him as they walk through this tragedy. Already students from other churches are reaching out to this group. Pray for wisdom for them and the leaders at the camp to be sensitive to what God would have them do in regards to this situation.
I believe God has major plans this week for the students and leaders. God is good all the time even when we walk through such tragedies.
John is at the Florida Baptist Convention's youth camp called Super Summer. In its hey day it ran about 1,000 kids. This year it only runs about 250. John is there as a leader for the 11th and 12th graders. This is his first year to work with this camp. It is a different role than he is used to at camp. Normally he is the lead speaker when he goes. I know God has a plan to use John. I am so thankful John is willing to serve no matter the position.
Today he called me to let me know of a tragedy for one of the youth groups there. A group of about 75 youth received a call that a Sunday School teacher and her son were killed in a car accident today. This group is greiving tonight. The leaders have rearranged the schedule to help accomodate this process tonight. As I type, they are in their large group worship experience. Please pray that the students and leaders from the church will feel God's presence and trust in Him as they walk through this tragedy. Already students from other churches are reaching out to this group. Pray for wisdom for them and the leaders at the camp to be sensitive to what God would have them do in regards to this situation.
I believe God has major plans this week for the students and leaders. God is good all the time even when we walk through such tragedies.
The week in a flash
Last week was busy. Cheney and Nathaniel got sick. They are both on antibiotics and decongestant/antihistamine/expectorant combo. Nat is also on a steroid. Hopefully it will all take care of this bronchial stuff they have going on. John's bronchial thing he normally gets in the spring has latched on as well. Hopefully his combination of 5 prescriptions will conquer it the first time this year.
Despite that we went to the pool for Layton's 7th b-day. Layton and Elijah went on the diving board for the first time and declared they loved it. John was enjoying it so much!! He started diving in competitions at age 5 so he has been a bit worried at the fear our kids have had over the diving board. Well...they are over that and John almost had Elijah doing a real dive. They enjoyed it so much we went back on Saturday.
Fireworks were fun. We walked down to our city's lake front where the fireworks were being done. It is so awesome to be walking distance from downtown and the lake front in our little home town. I intentionally do not mention it's name because I don't like for people to know exactly where I live. If there are any stalkers out there.
Anyway...sitting on the blanket with my husband and 4 children was kind of surreal. I have 4 kids...when did that happen? I don't know but time sure is flying. Cheney (3 yr old) loved the fireworks. After the first one shot up into the air she said, "It's HUMONGOUS!!!" It was so cute to hear such a big word come out of such a small child's mouth.
Sunday was a nice day at church and lunch at Taco Bell - of course...John eats there at least 3 times a week. It is the only place we can feed our entire family for 12 dollars. Seriously! Though that is about to change. The kids are ramping up their appetites. We had to come home and eat fruit because they weren't totally full from their normal one taco each. Fruit was probably a good thing to follow up Taco Bell with though. Then John got ready for a week of camp.
Mom came over today and helped me fold the mountain of clothes today. I am resolved to keeping up with it now. 2 loads a day should keep us going. If I could just remember to fold them and put them away.
Well the baby is screaming guess I should run
Despite that we went to the pool for Layton's 7th b-day. Layton and Elijah went on the diving board for the first time and declared they loved it. John was enjoying it so much!! He started diving in competitions at age 5 so he has been a bit worried at the fear our kids have had over the diving board. Well...they are over that and John almost had Elijah doing a real dive. They enjoyed it so much we went back on Saturday.
Fireworks were fun. We walked down to our city's lake front where the fireworks were being done. It is so awesome to be walking distance from downtown and the lake front in our little home town. I intentionally do not mention it's name because I don't like for people to know exactly where I live. If there are any stalkers out there.
Anyway...sitting on the blanket with my husband and 4 children was kind of surreal. I have 4 kids...when did that happen? I don't know but time sure is flying. Cheney (3 yr old) loved the fireworks. After the first one shot up into the air she said, "It's HUMONGOUS!!!" It was so cute to hear such a big word come out of such a small child's mouth.
Sunday was a nice day at church and lunch at Taco Bell - of course...John eats there at least 3 times a week. It is the only place we can feed our entire family for 12 dollars. Seriously! Though that is about to change. The kids are ramping up their appetites. We had to come home and eat fruit because they weren't totally full from their normal one taco each. Fruit was probably a good thing to follow up Taco Bell with though. Then John got ready for a week of camp.
Mom came over today and helped me fold the mountain of clothes today. I am resolved to keeping up with it now. 2 loads a day should keep us going. If I could just remember to fold them and put them away.
Well the baby is screaming guess I should run
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Codeine induced nap, anyone?
OK...Cheney is in a codiene induced nap, Nahtaniel is on some kind of prescribed antihistimine and decongestant. Layton needed something for the coughs and Elijah just needed a nap because he still does. I have also had to take some antihistamine/decongestant stuff too. So far only Daddy and Cheney have infections. Hopefully we can keep everyone from getting that far. I better go sleep while all 4 of them are quiet and still. At least there is one thing nice that comes from paying all that money for prescribed meds.
Honestly I am so thankful we only have to deal with the seasonal allergies and sickness. I have to remind myself that these too will pass. Night time sleep will come again for all of us!!!
FYI...#2 just woke up everyone...at least #3 who is sick went back to sleep. No sleep for the weary. A mom told me a few weeks ago, I have to wait 18 more years before I get good sleep again. I am beginning to believe it.
Honestly I am so thankful we only have to deal with the seasonal allergies and sickness. I have to remind myself that these too will pass. Night time sleep will come again for all of us!!!
FYI...#2 just woke up everyone...at least #3 who is sick went back to sleep. No sleep for the weary. A mom told me a few weeks ago, I have to wait 18 more years before I get good sleep again. I am beginning to believe it.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
My man doesn't know how sexy he just looked to me...
Picture this if you will...
Handsome man carrying baby carrier with really cute baby (Nathaniel)and a baby blue diaper bag over his shoulder as he gets in the car to go to the doctor. Yes, my man is taking the baby to the doctor.
Well they both needed to go and I went with Cheney this morning. She has some kind of bronchial infection. John has finally gotten his bronchial thing he gets every spring only now in the summer and Nathaniel has a temperature and runny nose and cough.
Somehow we had a credit at the doctor's office so we didn't have to pay for Cheney's appointments but her prescriptions were $88. I think I need to do some research on an insurance policy that covers medications. I am hoping the antibiotic kicks in so we don't have to go get the steroid that the doctor said we will probably need. She said to wait 24 hours to see.
I had just told the Doctor last week at Nathaniel's well check that we had made it through the spring without our normal allergy induced infections. I was so excited. I almost feel like if I hadn't said anything we wouldn't have had to deal with them. Now I am sure it doesn't work like that. I almost feel like God said, "You're a little to cocky there missy." And pow...we were hit full swing. It is funny how we as humans want to blame it on something. Or maybe that is just me. I feel like I need to know where we got it. I have been racking my brain about where Cheney was last week. She started with the cough on Friday night but she was home with me all week long while the big kids were out doing soccer camp and VBS. Maybe it is the rain making the mold and mildew bad around here. OK..OK...I am going to stop.
I just need to focus on having a sweet attitude. I am wondering if we can get well enough to have Layton's b-day party here on Thursday. She will be so disappointed if we have to postpone but I told her postponing is better than just cancelling it all together. I suppose we all need to learn patience and a grateful heart in our circumstances.
Picture this if you will...
Handsome man carrying baby carrier with really cute baby (Nathaniel)and a baby blue diaper bag over his shoulder as he gets in the car to go to the doctor. Yes, my man is taking the baby to the doctor.
Well they both needed to go and I went with Cheney this morning. She has some kind of bronchial infection. John has finally gotten his bronchial thing he gets every spring only now in the summer and Nathaniel has a temperature and runny nose and cough.
Somehow we had a credit at the doctor's office so we didn't have to pay for Cheney's appointments but her prescriptions were $88. I think I need to do some research on an insurance policy that covers medications. I am hoping the antibiotic kicks in so we don't have to go get the steroid that the doctor said we will probably need. She said to wait 24 hours to see.
I had just told the Doctor last week at Nathaniel's well check that we had made it through the spring without our normal allergy induced infections. I was so excited. I almost feel like if I hadn't said anything we wouldn't have had to deal with them. Now I am sure it doesn't work like that. I almost feel like God said, "You're a little to cocky there missy." And pow...we were hit full swing. It is funny how we as humans want to blame it on something. Or maybe that is just me. I feel like I need to know where we got it. I have been racking my brain about where Cheney was last week. She started with the cough on Friday night but she was home with me all week long while the big kids were out doing soccer camp and VBS. Maybe it is the rain making the mold and mildew bad around here. OK..OK...I am going to stop.
I just need to focus on having a sweet attitude. I am wondering if we can get well enough to have Layton's b-day party here on Thursday. She will be so disappointed if we have to postpone but I told her postponing is better than just cancelling it all together. I suppose we all need to learn patience and a grateful heart in our circumstances.
"Look Mommy...
It's a crotchroach, Mommy. " Yes, I spelled that correctly...well at least correctly for the way our sweet littly Cheney says it. OK...before you freak out, if you live in Florida ...you have them!!! But if you live in a 93 year old house like I do...you definitely have them. Seriously, it was built in 1915. That is why we pay Massey on a quarterly basis to come out whenever we call. I need to call them for the "friends" that keep showing up in my kitchen. We haven't needed them to come in doors in quite a while. I have been thankful. I know I need to call them now BUT I get the heebie jeebies about them putting that stuff in my house now that Nathaniel is just at the stage where he wants to be scooting on my floor. Cock roaches or Cock roach poison??? Poison sounds worse to me. AND I can't seem to either be around long enough for the guy to come or get my house clean enough to want to have the guy actually come in my house and not feel embarrassed. Just being transparent here, people.
She saw the cock roach as I was checking her temperature after she woke up from falling out of bed and I had to put Nathaniel down from nursing to run up and get her....All as I was just thinking I am finally sleepy now and should go to sleep. Did all that and wasn't tired anymore. For some reason sleep isn't coming easily these days. And the run on sentence that I typed at the beginning of this paragraph can probably attest to that. Ha,ha!!!
She saw the cock roach as I was checking her temperature after she woke up from falling out of bed and I had to put Nathaniel down from nursing to run up and get her....All as I was just thinking I am finally sleepy now and should go to sleep. Did all that and wasn't tired anymore. For some reason sleep isn't coming easily these days. And the run on sentence that I typed at the beginning of this paragraph can probably attest to that. Ha,ha!!!
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